1944

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quote"..... the doctor, apparently realizing that one thing I certainly needed was sleep, left a bottle of sleeping pills there and in my drunken state I took them all, insted of one or two he had prescribed. If it hadn t been for an alert hotel maid, I maight have died then. From that time on fear was with me because I realized that not only would I not remember what happened to me while I was drinking, but apparently I coudnt contol what happened. And there didn t seem to be anything to do about it..........there was no help. I didnt want help. I had decided I was no good-never would be any good, and the sooner I could drink myself out of this life, the better........Whats the use? Whats the sense in trying to do the right thing? There was this awful alcoholic lonliness.......I saw that it was my life that was unmanageble - not just my drinking.....I also saw...because of some of the things I had done during the years, I was bordering on insanity............while my emotions were running my life and, as always, my emotions ran me to the bottle..........I realize that all Im guaranteed in life is today. The poorest person has no less and the wealthiest has no more - each of us has but one day. What we do with it is our own business, how we use it is up to us individually.........I have come to believe that my illness is spiritual as well as physical and mental, and I know for help in the spiritual sphere I have to turn to a higher power....." end quote
Geschrieben von einer Frau 1944.........

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